What is the purpose of a wedding?
If you look at the traditional, mainstream opinion, the purpose of having a wedding is to celebrate your decision to be married by way of a party.
For me, this definition doesn’t quite cut the mustard as I believe the purpose of a wedding is so much more than that.
The true meaning of a wedding (that has largely been lost in the over-commercialised versions
of weddings that we see today) is a ceremony to honour the decision you have made to be married and build a family together, to support your transition into this marriage and new phase of your life, and to manifest the future you wish to build together.
It’s about taking time out of your busy lives to acknowledge this monumental decision and to create and embody an experience that helps to usher you into this new phase.
Your Wedding As a Tool for Manifesting Your Future
One often overlooked aspect of the purpose of a wedding is the opportunity to set intentions for the future you wish to build together.
Through the way you design your wedding celebration and experience, the guests you invite, and the vows you exchange — when approached with care — all of these elements may be used to help you in setting the stage for the life you wish to build together.
How does it work? Your actions, words, and the intention you put into your entire wedding journey become a direct reflection of the future you wish to cultivate. Just imagine the difference in energy from a wedding that focuses on the materialistic side and is coupled with feeling anxious about what people will think when compared to a wedding that focuses on a meaningful exchange of words and experiences, approached with love and thoughtfulness?
Why Your Wedding Needs Purpose
A wedding purpose, or manifesto, is about applying your values to the celebration and using those values to assist in your decision making and wedding design.
For example, you might decide that the purpose of your wedding is to introduce your international families for the first time. In this case, having the standard 6-hour wedding ceremony, cocktails, dinner, and dancing style event may not best serve your purpose.
You might decide that a better way to celebrate your wedding’s purpose would be to invite your families on a a 5-day trip to a mountain cabin where you spend your time playing boardgames, sharing family-style meals, and truly getting to know each other.
How to Create Your Wedding Purpose
Creating a purpose for your wedding must be a process that you and your partner go through together — without the influence of parents, friends, or social media.
The best way to do this is to get clear on your family values and what’s important to you. Ask yourselves:
- What is it that lights up?
- When do we feel our happiest and most connected?
- What’s most important to us in life?
That might be connection, philanthropy and giving, creativity, travel and exploring, family, community, sustainability, fresh, organic food, beautiful surroundings, nature, adventure, conversation etc.
Once you know these values you can use them to define your wedding purpose. If fresh, organic food, nature, and conversation are some of those items you mentioned as being most important to you, then your wedding purpose might be: To celebrate outside in a beautiful, natural environment, sharing fresh farm to table food, and enjoying meaningful conversation with our close friends and family members.
Now, you can use this purpose to help determine the direction your wedding vision should take. See how it works?