When you start planning a wedding it’s easy to get overwhelmed with the endless inspiration in those to-die-for wedding magazine spreads and online, and when all of it is simply gorgeous, you may find yourself wondering “What kind of wedding do we want?”. How do you choose which wedding vision suits you best when there are just so many to choose from?
Read on and I’ll take you through my process for how to create a crystal clear wedding vision so you can avoid the inspo-overload.
It’s Okay To Have Different Wedding Priorities
In case you haven’t noticed, everyone has a different opinion about your wedding vision.
It shouldn’t really come as a surprise, though. When you think about it, one person’s opinion about weddings should be different from the next. After all, we live such different lives from each other. We experience relationships differently, we grow-up in different cultures, we experience religion and education differently, and we each come with our own set of values.
Likewise, it’s only natural that you have your own beliefs about marriage too. I’ll even go as far as to assume you and your partner have had many intimate conversations about what marriage means to you before you even got engaged.
“This is intimacy: the trading of stories in the dark. This act, the act of quiet night time talking, illustrates for me more than anything else the curious alchemy of companionship.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage
So just as your marriage won’t look anything like the next couples, you shouldn’t feel like your wedding has to follow suit with others’ either.
Avoid the Cookie Cutter Wedding
So here you are, two individual souls with your very own incomparable traits, intertwined together in a one-of-a-kind pairing, embarking on the journey of marriage and opting to celebrate that with a wedding.
Your wedding is an opportunity to make a declaration about your love to the world and to set some intentions for the energy you wish to carry forward into your married life. So I’ll say it again, it really should be an individual journey.
But then, often what happens once you start making plans for that celebration searching for “unique wedding ideas” on Pinterest, the results don’t feel as unique as you’d hoped. In fact, it can begin to feel like you should shut-off those extraordinary qualities of yours and have a wedding that fits the mold of what you’re told a wedding “should” be — a Cookie-Cutter wedding.
One that requires you to work your way through a templated laundry list of wedding To Do items that, to be perfectly honest, feels completely soulless.
What Is Your Wedding Vision?
The first step to creating your truly unique wedding vision is to forget everything you currently know about what a wedding should be.
Even just the word wedding has so many symbols wrapped up in it, so what if you just stopped calling it a wedding? What would happen if you stripped away the visions of flowers, white wedding dresses, first dances and designed a celebration that was unique to your story instead?
So, imagine for a second that you’re not planning a wedding, you’re planning a Celebration of Love.
The key to defining your wedding vision is to combine all of the things you love as a couple with all the people you love. Using the essence of your relationship, the things that make you you, and turning that into a celebration like no other.
And when you focus on creating a Celebration of Love, maybe it turns out that your wedding becomes more of an experience than a party. Perhaps it turns into a weekend getaway, a backyard brunch, or even a music jam. (My free ebook has a bunch of cool unconventional wedding ideas for you, download it here.)
How To Create Your Wedding Vision
Along with the details of your wedding vision – the who, what, where, when and how, it’s important to also consider your Wedding Why. In other words, what is your purpose for having a wedding?
Once you have your Wedding Why you can marry that (pun intended!) with the characteristics of your relationship mentioned above.
What does that look like in reality?
If your purpose for having a wedding is to introduce your two families and you love to travel and explore new places, perhaps your celebration of love becomes a 5-day stay in a gorgeous mountain chalet with both families in tow. You might schedule time for family dinners where everyone can gather together and take turns cooking, group hikes, boardgame tournaments, and other activities that allow both sides of the family to interact over more than just a 6-hour party (the traditional wedding approach!).
See how this is unfolding?
Sometimes there’s so much pressure about what your wedding should be; it can be difficult to imagine what your wedding could be.
It is so easy to get sucked into believing that there are all these “rules” around what your wedding should include. In reality, though, there are no wedding rules. There isn’t one single thing you have to do at your wedding.
No ceremony, no speeches, no aisle – it’s your wedding, and you can do what you want.
Now, want some help creating your own wedding vision and purpose? Download my free Wedding Planning Un Checklist and I’ll show you the exact steps.