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Bride Disrupted Blog

The First Step to Planning A Non Traditional Wedding

You're engaged congratulations!

You're probably now wondering how the hell you're going plan this wedding... Where to begin? What is the very first step you should take?

Well read on because the first step to planning your non traditional wedding is probably not what you think!

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>> AVOID THE BS! DOWNLOAD THE FREE WEDDING PLANNING UN-CHECKLIST​

The First Step to Planning A Non Traditional Wedding

You’re engaged congratulations!

You’re probably now wondering how the hell you’re going plan this wedding… Where to begin? What is the very first step you should take?

Now before we dive into the first thing that you should do when it comes to planning a wedding, let’s talk about the first thing you should not do, and that is to go to Pinterest and download a wedding planning checklist.

I know probably feels completely counterintuitive to what you would expect but let me explain:

After you go and download that wedding planning checklist from Pinterest, what you’re gonna find is there’s anywhere up to 250 to-do items on that list. And I’m going guess that maybe you haven’t planned a wedding before so all of this is going to be relatively new to you.

Now, the thing is, if the first thing you do it to download this wedding planning checklist list, you’re going to look at all the items and you’re going to think that that’s just what you’re supposed to do when it comes to planning a wedding.

But let me tell you that nothing on that list is actually mandatory.

So before you get carried away thinking that everything is, I want you to do this one thing instead — and that is to sit down with your partner and figure out why it is you’re having a wedding in the first place.

That is actually the first thing that you should do when it comes to wedding planning.

You want to sit down and discuss your purpose for why you’re even having a wedding. I mean you have already decided to be married so why are you having a wedding?

Is it because you feel like you should, that it just seems the natural order of things?
Is it because you’ve always dreamed of having a wedding?
Maybe it’s because you’re being pressured into it from your parents?
Maybe it’s because you just really want to have a party with your friends?

Either way, you have to get really clear on why you’re having a celebration. Then, you want to get clear on what your purpose is for that celebration.

Maybe you’ve decided that the purpose of your celebration is to introduce your families for the first time. Perhaps you’re from different countries or different sides of the country and your families haven’t even actually met yet so the whole point of your wedding celebration is to integrate those two families together.

If that’s the case now you get to just design a celebration around that. So when you think about it, perhaps spending all that money on a wedding party that lasts for about 6 hours isn’t going to be the best approach to meet that purpose.

Instead, you might decide that taking a five day tour around the city you live is a better way to bring those two families together. You could hire a minibus, go camping, maybe you visit all your favorite restaurants and neighbouring towns. All the while showing them the places that you love and helping to bring your two families together.

Maybe you go away for a cabin weekend in the mountains and you include lots of family-style dinners over which you share stories, play Pictionary and Charades, go on hikes together… Maybe that feels like a better way to honor that purpose of bringing your families together.

Your purpose might be to celebrate your community and to thank the friends that have become your family. So you decide to have a community potluck where everyone comes together and celebrates as one; your family by choice.

Perhaps you’ve decided that your wedding purpose has a charitable aspect to it and what you’d really like to do is use your wedding as an opportunity to give back. You might decide to get together with some friends and renovate a room at your local community center or perhaps paint a mural on the local elementary school and give to your community in a way that allows you to feel connected to them.

I know this might feel a little strange, particularly when we’re just so used to thinking that weddings are supposed to look a certain way. But the reason we have those preconceived ideas is because of TV, movies and advertising and just because that’s what we’ve been enculturated to believe weddings should be.

But that doesn’t necessarily mean that that’s right.

What I would like to offer you is an alternative to that standard wedding format that may feel better for you.

Because here’s the thing; as soon as you start planning your wedding and as soon as you’ve downloaded that wedding planning checklist you’re going to be bombarded with all of these things that say:

You “have to have” a first dance
You “have to wear” a white dress
You “have to have” a bridal party
You “have to do” speeches in this particular order
You “have to” cut the cake
Uou have to have your dad walk you down the aisle…

But I want to tell you that none of that actually has to happen.

This is about you and what you want, and if you have not taken this first step of defining your purpose for the reason you’re having a wedding in the first place, then when all of this pressure and bombardment from advertisers comes at you or when your family start getting involved with their opinions, you are going to be pulled every which way and you won’t even know begin.

You’ll find it incredibly hard to make decisions and, more than likely, you’ll end up planning a wedding that you don’t actually like because you’ve just been pressured into it and felt like you didn’t really have a chance to plan the wedding you really wanted to have.

That’s why getting clear on your purpose and your why for even having a wedding in the first place is the most important step and it should be the first step when it comes to planning your wedding. After that, then you can move on with designing a vision for your wedding based on that purpose.

Now, if you want help getting clear on your purpose again, I know this is like kind of a wild concept, download my Wedding Planning Un Checklist. It’s going help you get clear on what’s actually important to you so that you can avoid all of that crap that’s about to be thrown at you, and plan the exact kind of wedding that you want to have!

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  • If you haven’t already noticed, people have a lot of opinions about your wedding.⁠
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They want to ask questions and tell you what to do, and they can easily make you feel bad whatever decision you make.⁠
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In this episode, I speak with @Meghantalks about healthy boundaries — what are they and how you can actually create them.⁠
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Whether it’s with your parents, your nosey co-worker, or even just with the way you engage with social media, having good boundaries will help you approach your wedding planning experience with more ease.⁠
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Tap that link in my bio to listen, or find it wherever you get your fav pods!⁠
  • Imagine if we purchased our wedding dresses not to be one-off splurges,⁠
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But to serve us for the years ahead.⁠
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Each year on your anniversary, birthday, kids' birthdays, or just whenever, you could put on your wedding dress to feel special.⁠
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To feel connected to this moment. ⁠
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Someone once made up the idea that wedding dresses should be a one-time-wear kinda deal, ⁠
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So hey, maybe you and I can be the someones to change that?⁠
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Whose with me? Gimme a if you're in 🙌⁠
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Photo @hillarybarnes_fmnphoto
  • Pretty sure the point of a wedding is the ceremony, right?⁠
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Just checking 🙈!! ⁠
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Want to know you you can add more emphasis and meaning to your wedding ceremony? ⁠
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Check out episode 9 of the podcast!⁠
  • In our modern approach to weddings, it’s often the wedding ceremony that gets the least amount of attention in the grander scheme of planning the logistics of a large event (and the decor!) ⁠
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Which, when you think about it, is rather disappointing given that the ceremony is really at the core of what a wedding is about. ⁠
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In this episode, I speak to Lindy Mitchell-Nillson from @HearttoHeartStorytelling about the power of stories for building connection and creating deeper meaning in our ceremonies and our lives. ⁠
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If you've got a wedding ceremony to plan — this episode is for you!⁠
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Link in my bio xx⁠
  • The uncertainty caused by the pandemic is stripping the joy out of the wedding experience.⁠⠀
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So, what now?⁠⠀
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Should you cancel or reschedule your wedding, and when? ⁠⠀
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Will you get your deposits back? ⁠⠀
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Will your international and elderly guests be able to attend? ⁠⠀
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How can you move forward with your wedding plans when so much is unknown?⁠⠀
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In episode 10 of the podcast, I’m reflecting on the lessons we can all take from the current Coronavirus situation and how we can apply these to the wedding experiences we design. ⁠⠀
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I help you reflect on your unique situation and unpack what’s most important to you right now, ⁠⠀
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Cover the most common logistical questions, and, ⁠⠀
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Give you a plan for moving forward.⁠⠀
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Your wedding may not end up looking like the one you had planned, but if there’s ever been a time to rethink the way we approach weddings — this is it.⁠⠀
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Join me as we discuss a revolutionary approach to your wedding plans.⁠⠀
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Link in bio!⁠⠀
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#bridedisrupted #weddingwithintention #smallwedding #diybride #weddinginspo #beautifulbride #instawed #weddingtips #weddingideas #weddingblog #realwedding #meaningfulwedding #microwedding #bohowedding #weddinginspo #realweddinginspiration  #antibride #outdoorbride #budgetbride #brideonabudget #budgetsavvybride #wokewedding #unconventionalwedding  #2020bride  #elopement #coronawedding #coronaweddingplanning #coronabride #covidwedding #uniquewedding⁠⠀
  • Who is asking you to be anything more than you already are?⁠⠀
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These are the messages I've been receiving throughout this collective pause;⁠⠀
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We live in a constant state of striving. ⁠⠀
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Feeling that we must continually compete to be better. ⁠⠀
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All in an attempt to prove ourselves to ourselves.⁠⠀
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For what?⁠⠀
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When will we be enough?⁠⠀
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When will we accept ourselves as whole just as we are?⁠⠀
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Here are the lessons I am taking forward; ⁠⠀
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I am enough.⁠⠀
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I am worthy of love, just the way I am.⁠⠀
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I accept myself as whole, just as I am.⁠⠀
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Why is this relevant to your wedding?⁠⠀
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Where do I even begin... ⁠⠀
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Yesterday I uploaded the juiciest podcast episode to date.⁠⠀
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In it, I talk about everything the current situation is teaching me, how that relates to your wedding, and how we can move forward. ⁠⠀
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We cover all of the questions you asked, with plenty of space for self-reflection and things to consider as you move forward — out of uncertainty and into a renewed sense of purpose for your sacred wedding journey. ⁠⠀
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Listen to the episode via the link in bio and the relevance will be revealed 💛⁠⠀
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#bridedisrupted #weddingwithintention #smallwedding #diybride #weddinginspo #feministbride #instawed #weddingtips #weddingideas #indiebride #realwedding #meaningfulwedding #rebelbride #realweddinginspiration  #bespokewedding #outdoorbride #budgetbride #brideonabudget #budgetsavvybride #wokewedding #unconventionalwedding  #intuitvecoach #intuitiveguidance #2020bride #wastefreewedding #elopement #coronawedding #coronaweddingplanning #coronabride #covidwedding ⁠⠀
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Wedding planning checklist free PDF download