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Bride Disrupted Blog

Nobody Cares About Your Wedding

Worried that people are judging your wedding decisions? You are not alone. That panicked feeling you have when you think about all the things that could go wrong on the day of your wedding, is exacerbated by the fact that we have equated our wedding day with performance and perfectionism. I spent 5 years planning weddings and here is one thing I can say with certainty; nobody cares about your wedding as much as you do.

Nobody cares about your wedding

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Nobody Cares About Your Wedding

 

 

Nobody Cares About Your Wedding —Here’s Why That’s the Best News Ever!

All human beings have an instinctive desire to feel special, seen, and worthy. Since you’ve made your way here (and being here means with quite a high certainty that you’re a human being who is planning a wedding), I know that you probably want your wedding to be meaningful, unique, and deeply memorable.

So off you go, guns a blazin’— ready to plan a day of celebration, joy, and the love you share with your partner. Dreams of sugarplum fairies serving margaritas and tacos, dance in your head.

As if on cue, your Dad is suddenly upset that you’re not inviting your aunts and uncles, and your cousins, and their extended family friends. Your mum now has BIG opinions on what shapes look best on your body, and she has no problems telling you that you simply cannot wear a strapless style dress (or pure white for that matter, because champagne is so much more “your colour”). To top it off, one of your closest friends, who just got married with a full wedding party and church ceremony, cannot fathom why you would ever want to get married in a small city loft with only a few of your nearest and dearest.

Judgment is a seemingly infinite resource—we judge those around us based on what we believe to be true about how we should all behave and act, and we judge ourselves because of… well, pretty much everything.

“Fortunately, even as the game of judgement keeps society running smoothly, constantly dictating our likes and dislikes, our loves and hates, human beings are born to transcend. We can go beyond the setup of society, the ego, and judgement itself.” – Deepak Chopra 

It can become a real tough go when you’re having to not only figure out what you even want to include in your wedding day (having trouble with that? Start here), let alone having to constantly defend your choices, and face judgement from those around you. You might even find yourself putting off making decisions, or second guessing choices you’ve made, just to avoid having to tell those in your life about your wedding plans. The fear of what might happen if people think you’re making the wrong decision, especially if you’re thinking about doing something a little against the grain, can be paralysing. If you are reading this now, thinking “Yes! How did you know?? You’re a mind reader!” I mean, maybe I am, but mostly I just know people, and the extreme power that judgement has over all of us.

And believe me, I get it. What the hell will people think if you don’t include a first dance, or if you don’t wear a white dress? God forbid you get married without floral centrepieces, or a picture-perfect archway. Will people talk behind your back? Will people be so thrown off by your out of the box wedding style that they end up not having a great time? Or worse, *gasp*, will they judge you? That panicked feeling you have when you think about all the things that could go wrong on the day of your wedding, is exacerbated by the fact that we have equated our wedding day with performance and perfectionism.

Let me fill you in on a little secret, I spent 5 years planning weddings and here is one thing I can say with certainty; nobody cares about your wedding as much as you do.

It might sound or feel like your mother, your bff, or your work wife are just as invested in your wedding, as you. Fuck, it might even feel sometimes like they actually might care about it MORE than you do. But that is false. (If you are having trouble saying no to those who love you, help has arrived.) You see, we are all so wrapped up in our own individual worlds full of our own fears and anxiety about what others are thinking of us, we hardly have time to think about anyone else but ourselves.

Here’s the liberating part; to think that anyone is going to even spend more than 30-seconds actually judging you because of your wedding decisions, is such overkill because according to studies, nobody cares about us as much as us. I mean, not because you are not abso-fucking-lutely awesome and worth talking about, but because in general folks are so overly concerned about what people think about them that even if they have a judgemental thought about someone else, it’s fleeting. Soon they find themselves completely wrapped up in their own woes over again. As soon as you realise folks are all too consumed with their own BS, then you can cue up the George Michael Greatest Hits Album, feel that glorious freedom blowing through your hair, and plan your wedding just the way you want to.

So, riddle me this, are you still worried about what other people will think? If so, feel free to get over yourself. As long as you and your partner have a great time, and you feel like your purpose of having a wedding is actualised and realised, THAT’S THE BULLSEYE BABY!

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  • If you haven’t already noticed, people have a lot of opinions about your wedding.⁠
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They want to ask questions and tell you what to do, and they can easily make you feel bad whatever decision you make.⁠
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In this episode, I speak with @Meghantalks about healthy boundaries — what are they and how you can actually create them.⁠
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Whether it’s with your parents, your nosey co-worker, or even just with the way you engage with social media, having good boundaries will help you approach your wedding planning experience with more ease.⁠
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Tap that link in my bio to listen, or find it wherever you get your fav pods!⁠
  • Imagine if we purchased our wedding dresses not to be one-off splurges,⁠
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But to serve us for the years ahead.⁠
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Each year on your anniversary, birthday, kids' birthdays, or just whenever, you could put on your wedding dress to feel special.⁠
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To feel connected to this moment. ⁠
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Someone once made up the idea that wedding dresses should be a one-time-wear kinda deal, ⁠
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So hey, maybe you and I can be the someones to change that?⁠
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Whose with me? Gimme a if you're in 🙌⁠
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Photo @hillarybarnes_fmnphoto
  • Pretty sure the point of a wedding is the ceremony, right?⁠
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Just checking 🙈!! ⁠
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Want to know you you can add more emphasis and meaning to your wedding ceremony? ⁠
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Check out episode 9 of the podcast!⁠
  • In our modern approach to weddings, it’s often the wedding ceremony that gets the least amount of attention in the grander scheme of planning the logistics of a large event (and the decor!) ⁠
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Which, when you think about it, is rather disappointing given that the ceremony is really at the core of what a wedding is about. ⁠
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In this episode, I speak to Lindy Mitchell-Nillson from @HearttoHeartStorytelling about the power of stories for building connection and creating deeper meaning in our ceremonies and our lives. ⁠
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If you've got a wedding ceremony to plan — this episode is for you!⁠
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Link in my bio xx⁠
  • The uncertainty caused by the pandemic is stripping the joy out of the wedding experience.⁠⠀
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So, what now?⁠⠀
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Should you cancel or reschedule your wedding, and when? ⁠⠀
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Will you get your deposits back? ⁠⠀
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Will your international and elderly guests be able to attend? ⁠⠀
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How can you move forward with your wedding plans when so much is unknown?⁠⠀
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In episode 10 of the podcast, I’m reflecting on the lessons we can all take from the current Coronavirus situation and how we can apply these to the wedding experiences we design. ⁠⠀
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I help you reflect on your unique situation and unpack what’s most important to you right now, ⁠⠀
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Cover the most common logistical questions, and, ⁠⠀
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Give you a plan for moving forward.⁠⠀
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Your wedding may not end up looking like the one you had planned, but if there’s ever been a time to rethink the way we approach weddings — this is it.⁠⠀
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Join me as we discuss a revolutionary approach to your wedding plans.⁠⠀
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Link in bio!⁠⠀
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#bridedisrupted #weddingwithintention #smallwedding #diybride #weddinginspo #beautifulbride #instawed #weddingtips #weddingideas #weddingblog #realwedding #meaningfulwedding #microwedding #bohowedding #weddinginspo #realweddinginspiration  #antibride #outdoorbride #budgetbride #brideonabudget #budgetsavvybride #wokewedding #unconventionalwedding  #2020bride  #elopement #coronawedding #coronaweddingplanning #coronabride #covidwedding #uniquewedding⁠⠀
  • Who is asking you to be anything more than you already are?⁠⠀
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These are the messages I've been receiving throughout this collective pause;⁠⠀
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We live in a constant state of striving. ⁠⠀
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Feeling that we must continually compete to be better. ⁠⠀
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All in an attempt to prove ourselves to ourselves.⁠⠀
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For what?⁠⠀
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When will we be enough?⁠⠀
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When will we accept ourselves as whole just as we are?⁠⠀
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Here are the lessons I am taking forward; ⁠⠀
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I am enough.⁠⠀
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I am worthy of love, just the way I am.⁠⠀
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I accept myself as whole, just as I am.⁠⠀
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Why is this relevant to your wedding?⁠⠀
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Where do I even begin... ⁠⠀
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Yesterday I uploaded the juiciest podcast episode to date.⁠⠀
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In it, I talk about everything the current situation is teaching me, how that relates to your wedding, and how we can move forward. ⁠⠀
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We cover all of the questions you asked, with plenty of space for self-reflection and things to consider as you move forward — out of uncertainty and into a renewed sense of purpose for your sacred wedding journey. ⁠⠀
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Listen to the episode via the link in bio and the relevance will be revealed 💛⁠⠀
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#bridedisrupted #weddingwithintention #smallwedding #diybride #weddinginspo #feministbride #instawed #weddingtips #weddingideas #indiebride #realwedding #meaningfulwedding #rebelbride #realweddinginspiration  #bespokewedding #outdoorbride #budgetbride #brideonabudget #budgetsavvybride #wokewedding #unconventionalwedding  #intuitvecoach #intuitiveguidance #2020bride #wastefreewedding #elopement #coronawedding #coronaweddingplanning #coronabride #covidwedding ⁠⠀
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