Just in case you haven’t noticed it in your own experience, let me tell you that everyone has a different opinion about weddings.
When you think about it though, it should really come as no surprise that one person’s opinion about weddings would be different from the next because we all live such different lives from each other. We experience relationships differently, we grow-up in different cultures which give different weight to weddings and marriage in general, we experience religion and education differently, and we each come with our own set of values.
It’s perfectly natural then, that we should all have a different opinion when it comes to weddings. Likewise, it’s only natural that we should have our own personal beliefs about marriage too. I’ll even go as far as to assume that there were many intimate conversations where you and you partner considered what marriage means to the two of you. You probably talked about what’s important to you as a couple, and as individuals, and then together, in private, you decided that “Yeah”, you would like to be married.
“This is intimacy: the trading of stories in the dark. This act, the act of quiet night time talking, illustrates for me more than anything else the curious alchemy of companionship.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage
I would even bet your proposal was also incredibly intimate and unique to the two of you. Maybe you made a speech, maybe your now-fiance wrote a speech about you. Perhaps it was in front of some beautiful art in some fabulous, foreign city, or perhaps it happened quietly, in bed on a Tuesday morning when the love was so present you just made the decision together to go for it.
So here you are, two individual souls with your very own incomparable traits, intertwined together in a one-of-a-kind paring, embarking on the journey of marriage and opting to celebrate that with a wedding.
That feels quite monumental, in my opinion. But then, what happens when you start Pinteresting, Googling, and beginning to make plans for that celebration? The results returned certainly don’t feel very unique. In fact, pretty quickly it begins to feel like you’re actually expected to shut-off those extraordinary qualities of yours in order to have a Paint By Numbers type of wedding, one that requires you to work your way through a templated laundry list of wedding planning To Do items that’s longer than a Costco receipt.
This leads me to wonder, what weddings would it look like if we just stopped calling them weddings? What would happen if you stripped away the visions of flowers, white dresses, first dances, and that bouquet toss? What if there wasn’t a standard template that suggested that weddings had to follow the format of ceremony, cocktail reception, dinner reception and speeches, followed by dancing?
What would happen if you simply designed a celebration that embodied your unique story instead?
How could you turn the essence of your relationship into a ceremony and celebration, even if it ends up looking nothing like any other wedding you’ve attended in the past? What if you simply combined all of the things that you love — activities that define who you are — with all of the people that you love and just celebrated that? Maybe your wedding would be more like an experience rather than a party, perhaps it would be a weekend getaway, a backyard Spikeball tournament, or even a 17 km bike ride.
What would the perfect day look like if the only guidelines were about connecting with your partner and celebrating your commitment to one another? Because I gotta tell you, it is so easy to get sucked into believing that there are all these “rules” around what your wedding should be or must include. In reality though, there are no rules. THERE IS NOT ONE THING YOU HAVE TO DO AT YOUR WEDDING. You don’t even have to have a ceremony, speeches, or an aisle.
It can be whatever you want it to be, there are no limits.
Sometimes, when there is so much influence about what your wedding should be it can be difficult to imagine what your wedding could be. But let’s try it, shall we?
If you’re ready to step into full alignment with your soul’s true desires for your wedding, then it’s time to let go of any pressure or preconceived notions of what your wedding should be. How? Enter your email below and download the Un-Checklist worksheet now.
The Un-checklist will guide you through a series of exercises designed to un-condition your current beliefs about what a wedding should be, and get you planning something that feels one hundred times more YOU instead.