The question of how to make wedding decisions with ease is without a doubt one of the more challenging aspects of wedding planning. With endless influence from friends, family, and social media, wedding indecisiveness is inevitable as you try to navigate your way through a sea of opinions.
Let’s look at why making wedding decisions is so hard and how you can move from decision overwhelm to place of calm and confidence.
Why You Can’t Make Wedding Decisions
Whether you begin with a perfectly clear vision of what your wedding will look like or not, the combination of peer pressure and social influence can make it difficult to decipher which wedding ideas are really yours, and which you’ve been coerced into.
You’re trying to keep the people around you happy, trying to follow what’s expected of you, and also just trying to figure out which are the things that you actually care about all whilst having no prior wedding planning experience.
This can make the decision to commit to anything paralysing.
Do Weddings Have Rules?
The idea of wedding etiquette and traditions can make it especially difficult to make decisions. You may be looking at some of those items on your wedding planning checklist thinking you don’t really care for them, but then the pressures of wanting to adhere to “proper wedding etiquette” makes it feel like you don’t have a choice.
In my years working as a wedding planner I often heard questions like:
Do we have to have a wedding cake?
Do we really need to do a first dance?
Should we invite our co-workers?
And the answer I always had to them was, big surprise, “No.”
The truth is you don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to when it comes to your wedding.
Sadly, saying “No” to wedding traditions and the expectations of others isn’t as easy as it sounds.
It’s challenging to commit to a decision that goes against every wedding experience you have had so far. We’re so accustomed to expecting weddings to have moments like a first dance and cake cutting ceremony, that we believe they must be a mandatory part of any wedding day.
But let me assure you, this isn’t true — you’re allowed to include or exclude any wedding traditions you wish.
How to Make Wedding Decisions with Ease
If you find yourself struggling to make wedding decisions here are four questions you can ask yourselves to ensure that every decision is made with intention, not out of influence.
1. Does it align with our purpose and vision?
When you are clear on the purpose of your wedding you can quickly recognise which elements are important to you and which are more likely a cade of wedding FOMO and peer pressure.
If you haven’t already, take some time to define your wedding purpose and you’ll find that decision making gets a whole lot easier.
2. Does it fit with your wedding budget?
Will it fit comfortably within your wedding budget?
Does including it mean missing out on another aspect of your wedding that is more important to you?
Does the monetary value of this item seem worth it?
I never recommend going into debt for your wedding, so if adding this item means adding it to a credit card balance you can’t pay off immediately, it’s not worth it.
Setting a budget for your wedding isn’t just about deciding how much money you can spend though. It’s important to also think about the monetary value of your wedding items. Just because your budget can afford $3,000 of flowers doesn’t mean they hold that same value when compared to other items that money could be spent on.
3. Does it affect your “wedding experience”?
The experience of your wedding is the way in which your guests experience your wedding’s purpose.
It’s easy to get carried away with details that really won’t make any difference to your, or your guests’, enjoyment of the wedding.
Will those adorable wedding favours affect how much fun they have on the day? Do those napkins that perfectly match your tablecloths help your guests acknowledge the intention of community you hope to bring to your wedding?
4. How does it make you feel?
Or in other words, do you want to do it?
When it comes to things like a first dance you may feel awkward or absolutely terrified by the thought. Maybe you don’t want to stay apart the night before the wedding, or maybe you don’t want to have a bridal party standing with you at your wedding ceremony.
If you simply don’t want to do something, then don’t!
If your answer to the question “Do we want to do it?” is not a definitive yes or no, like “No, but we feel like we should to keep xy person happy” then go with No. Your wedding is not an exercise for appeasing social norms, it is an opportunity to create new traditions based on what’s important to you.
So forget what people are telling you, or what you’ve seen before. Wedding decisions are best made when not under the influence of others.
Download my free Wedding Planning Un Checklist now and get crystal clear on what you really want for your wedding.