How do you even begin to make wedding decisions with constant opinion-overload from family members, friends, and the rabbit-hole that is Pinterest?
Whether you begin with a perfectly clear vision of what your wedding will look like or not, the combination of peer-pressure and social influence can make it difficult to decipher which ideas are really yours, and which you have been coerced into.
This can make the decision to commit to anything paralysing.
In my years working as a wedding planner I often heard questions like:
Do we have to have a wedding cake?
Do we really need to do a first dance?
Should we invite our co-workers?
And the answer I always had to them was, big surprise— “No.”
The truth is you don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to when it comes to your wedding.
Unfortunately saying “No” isn’t as easy as you think. It is challenging to commit to a decision that goes against every wedding experience you have had so far. We are so accustomed to expecting moments like a first dance and cake cutting ceremony, that we believe they must be a mandatory part of any wedding day. But this isn’t really true.
If you find yourself struggling to make wedding decisions here are four questions you can ask yourselves to ensure that every decision is made with intention, not out of influence.
1. Does it align with our purpose and vision?
2. Does it fit with the budget?
Will it fit comfortably within your budget, or does including it mean missing out on another aspect of your wedding that is more important to you?
If adding this item means adding it to a credit card balance you can’t pay off immediately, it’s not worth it.
3. Does it effect the “event experience”?
Your event experience is the way in which your guests experience your wedding’s purpose.
It is easy to get carried away with details that really won’t make any difference to your, or your guests’, enjoyment of the wedding. Will those adorable wedding favours or napkins that match your tablecloths directly affect how much fun you have on the day? Probably not.
4. How does it make you feel?
Or in other words, do you want to do it?
When it comes to things like a first dance you may feel awkward or absolutely terrified by the thought. You may not wish to stay apart the night before the wedding, or maybe you don’t want to have attendants standing with you at your wedding ceremony.
If your answer to the question “Do we want to do it?” is not a definitive yes or no, such as “No, but we feel like we should” then go with No. Your wedding is not an exercise for appeasing social norms, it is an opportunity to create new traditions based on what is important to you.
So forget what people are telling you, or what you’ve seen before. Wedding decisions are best made when not under the influence of others.