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Bride Disrupted Blog

The Surprising Secret For How To Have The Perfect Wedding

When you start planning a wedding in today’s world, it becomes painstakingly clear that you simply must have bespoke paper invitations hand-addressed by a calligrapher, you absolutely have to have cute gifts for your guests to take home, and of course, you have to have a dress for the ceremony AND another for the reception. Don’t even think about not having an open bar! So, where exactly do you have the room to express what you really value when you are constantly busy fulfilling someone else’s ideal wedding plan?

Unconventional wedding inspiration - Bride Disrupted

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The Surprising Secret For How To Have The Perfect Wedding

When it comes to your wedding you can, and should, question everything.

Back in 2010, I became a wedding planner, and almost instantaneously I became a wedding authority from my very first day on the job. But not because I was an expert by any means! Up until that point, I had only attended one wedding in my adult life… So for the first few months, I was, admittedly, winging it — but I knew one thing for sure, that I needed to be a point of support and unwavering confidence for the people I worked with.

Through the haze of extravagant floral arrangements and floor-length veils, I just couldn’t seem to wrap my head around why such importance was laid out on things that didn’t seem to give back enough joy and purpose for all the stress that they caused, and so Bride Disrupted began. 

I began to explore why these so-called traditions and expectations held such high importance for us as a society.

You could say that Bride Disrupted was born out of an exasperated cry, yelled from the tops of mountains, encouraging people to fly their freak-flags and honour their souls higher purpose. “Weddings shouldn’t all look the same!” Your wedding should be an intentional celebration, where the details are actually tailored to you and your partner, and not just simply a process of checking off someone else’s Wedding To-Do List. I am here to say that yes, yes you can (and should!) dare to say “to hell with what we’ve been told is the only right way to have a wedding” and plan a celebration with soul.

Now, don’t get me wrong—I love ritual and intention. The big question is, whose rituals are we using?

 “There are so many traditions associated with modern weddings, and we’re simply too scared to leave them behind. When we consider disrupting these expected rituals in favour of something more relevant, we become intimidated because we know that the people in our lives (our family in particular) may be offended. Often, that teetering tightrope balancing act of not offending anyone holds us back from creating or adapting customs more symbolic of our lives today.

In order to give the modern wedding some (profitable) substance, the wedding industry just randomly resurrected a bunch of old traditions and doused them in new millennial-pink meaning. While we have developed a sentimental attachment to them, when you look into it, these customs have very little cultural meaning.”

Wedding With Intention

 

When you start planning a wedding in today’s world, it becomes painstakingly clear that you simply must have bespoke paper invitations hand-addressed by a calligrapher, you absolutely have to have cute gifts for your guests to take home, and of course, you have to have a dress for the ceremony AND another for the reception. Don’t even think about not having an open bar! So, where exactly do you have the room to express what you really value when you are constantly busy fulfilling someone else’s ideal wedding plan? And, maybe you’re even convinced that if you don’t follow this exact blueprint, then it means you’re doing it wrong…

Let me be the one to break it to you: weddings should not be a test for how talented you are at pulling together a fabulously styled event.

“Forget the wedding rules!” you might cry, “That’s not really our style, we’re going to have an unconventional wedding, we’ll do it our way.” But what does it even mean to have an “unconventional” wedding?

You might turn to Pinterest or Google with these terms in hand to find out, and what you discover is that — according to the masses — a unique or unconventional wedding means including llamas in your ceremony, a bride wearing a jumpsuit instead of a ball gown, and booking a food truck to feed guests tacos at the reception… How do you even begin to untangle what is truly meaningful to you from what you are taught should be meaningful? Were llamas really what you had in mind when you decided that you would have an unconventional wedding? Sure, these elements add a level of quirkiness or whimsy to the event, but do they really add meaning?

That’s what we dive into in my new book, Wedding with Intention, we get into everything wedding-related — the cultural brainwashing (and how to liberate yourself from it), the sticky situations, the funny, and most importantly, the meaning of the whole dang thing.

Just to be clear, this movement is not about not conforming for the sake of not conforming.

I want every person getting married to be empowered to make whatever decisions they want to make! There’s no expectation that you should show up to your wedding celebration in bright red swimsuits just to say “To hell with tradition!”

It’s about taking the time to decide what’s really important to you and choosing your own path, rather than being influenced by what are perceived to be the “rules.”

The current version of a unique or unconventional wedding, unfortunately, doesn’t live up to its fullest potential. The wedding industry currently pressures us into making all the materialistic decisions first (hello, wedding colour palette) and saves the intentional stuff for the bottom of the barrel: your vows, ceremonies, and moments to share why you’re in this at all.

In Wedding with Intention, you will sculpt a celebration from your values. You will get clear on your priorities and your budget, and where the most value lies for you and your partner, based on what’s important to you — because you are wired entirely differently from the next couple. You will learn how to navigate tense conversations about your wedding decisions with important people in your life, and uber-importantly, we will explore the art of saying “no” to the things that don’t fully light you up when it comes to deciding how you will celebrate your marriage.

That is what it’s about after all. Taking a moment to honour your decision to build a family together — in whatever form that looks like to you — in a way that you can find meaning in.

And that’s not something you will EVER find in some pre-written wedding planning checklist from Pinterest.

Are you ready to redefine what it means to celebrate your relationship?

Get your copy of Wedding with Intention here!

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  • If you haven’t already noticed, people have a lot of opinions about your wedding.⁠
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They want to ask questions and tell you what to do, and they can easily make you feel bad whatever decision you make.⁠
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In this episode, I speak with @Meghantalks about healthy boundaries — what are they and how you can actually create them.⁠
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Whether it’s with your parents, your nosey co-worker, or even just with the way you engage with social media, having good boundaries will help you approach your wedding planning experience with more ease.⁠
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Tap that link in my bio to listen, or find it wherever you get your fav pods!⁠
  • Imagine if we purchased our wedding dresses not to be one-off splurges,⁠
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But to serve us for the years ahead.⁠
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Each year on your anniversary, birthday, kids' birthdays, or just whenever, you could put on your wedding dress to feel special.⁠
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To feel connected to this moment. ⁠
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Someone once made up the idea that wedding dresses should be a one-time-wear kinda deal, ⁠
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So hey, maybe you and I can be the someones to change that?⁠
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Whose with me? Gimme a if you're in 🙌⁠
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Photo @hillarybarnes_fmnphoto
  • Pretty sure the point of a wedding is the ceremony, right?⁠
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Just checking 🙈!! ⁠
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Want to know you you can add more emphasis and meaning to your wedding ceremony? ⁠
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Check out episode 9 of the podcast!⁠
  • In our modern approach to weddings, it’s often the wedding ceremony that gets the least amount of attention in the grander scheme of planning the logistics of a large event (and the decor!) ⁠
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Which, when you think about it, is rather disappointing given that the ceremony is really at the core of what a wedding is about. ⁠
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In this episode, I speak to Lindy Mitchell-Nillson from @HearttoHeartStorytelling about the power of stories for building connection and creating deeper meaning in our ceremonies and our lives. ⁠
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If you've got a wedding ceremony to plan — this episode is for you!⁠
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Link in my bio xx⁠
  • The uncertainty caused by the pandemic is stripping the joy out of the wedding experience.⁠⠀
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So, what now?⁠⠀
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Should you cancel or reschedule your wedding, and when? ⁠⠀
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Will you get your deposits back? ⁠⠀
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Will your international and elderly guests be able to attend? ⁠⠀
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How can you move forward with your wedding plans when so much is unknown?⁠⠀
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In episode 10 of the podcast, I’m reflecting on the lessons we can all take from the current Coronavirus situation and how we can apply these to the wedding experiences we design. ⁠⠀
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I help you reflect on your unique situation and unpack what’s most important to you right now, ⁠⠀
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Cover the most common logistical questions, and, ⁠⠀
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Give you a plan for moving forward.⁠⠀
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Your wedding may not end up looking like the one you had planned, but if there’s ever been a time to rethink the way we approach weddings — this is it.⁠⠀
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Join me as we discuss a revolutionary approach to your wedding plans.⁠⠀
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Link in bio!⁠⠀
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#bridedisrupted #weddingwithintention #smallwedding #diybride #weddinginspo #beautifulbride #instawed #weddingtips #weddingideas #weddingblog #realwedding #meaningfulwedding #microwedding #bohowedding #weddinginspo #realweddinginspiration  #antibride #outdoorbride #budgetbride #brideonabudget #budgetsavvybride #wokewedding #unconventionalwedding  #2020bride  #elopement #coronawedding #coronaweddingplanning #coronabride #covidwedding #uniquewedding⁠⠀
  • Who is asking you to be anything more than you already are?⁠⠀
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These are the messages I've been receiving throughout this collective pause;⁠⠀
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We live in a constant state of striving. ⁠⠀
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Feeling that we must continually compete to be better. ⁠⠀
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All in an attempt to prove ourselves to ourselves.⁠⠀
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For what?⁠⠀
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When will we be enough?⁠⠀
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When will we accept ourselves as whole just as we are?⁠⠀
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Here are the lessons I am taking forward; ⁠⠀
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I am enough.⁠⠀
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I am worthy of love, just the way I am.⁠⠀
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I accept myself as whole, just as I am.⁠⠀
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Why is this relevant to your wedding?⁠⠀
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Where do I even begin... ⁠⠀
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Yesterday I uploaded the juiciest podcast episode to date.⁠⠀
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In it, I talk about everything the current situation is teaching me, how that relates to your wedding, and how we can move forward. ⁠⠀
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We cover all of the questions you asked, with plenty of space for self-reflection and things to consider as you move forward — out of uncertainty and into a renewed sense of purpose for your sacred wedding journey. ⁠⠀
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Listen to the episode via the link in bio and the relevance will be revealed 💛⁠⠀
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#bridedisrupted #weddingwithintention #smallwedding #diybride #weddinginspo #feministbride #instawed #weddingtips #weddingideas #indiebride #realwedding #meaningfulwedding #rebelbride #realweddinginspiration  #bespokewedding #outdoorbride #budgetbride #brideonabudget #budgetsavvybride #wokewedding #unconventionalwedding  #intuitvecoach #intuitiveguidance #2020bride #wastefreewedding #elopement #coronawedding #coronaweddingplanning #coronabride #covidwedding ⁠⠀
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